Name Reveal

  On Saturday, June 29th we had our Name Reveal Party!! Sweet family and friends joined us to help us celebrate our sweet boy! 

There's something intimate about a name, isn't there? In the way your closest friends call you by a nickname, unlike a new found acquaintance. Thinking about how the Lord calls us by name though, draws out an even sweeter image. I think it's the feeling of being known that makes us so comforted and confident. Now that our boy has a name and is KNOWN to us, I feel even closer to him and praying for him by name has taken on a whole new light! We know though that the Lord has loved and known this boy since his creation, we're just the slow ones!

Before I share his name, I just want to stop and say, "THANK YOU" to everyone who came! If you've struggled with infertility at all, you know that it can leave you feeling greatly robbed of some of life's special moments. As we've walked this beautiful road of adoption, we've tried to be intentional about celebrating each milestone just as you would otherwise do! There's no denying that our road is different than others BUT it is no less special or beautiful. So since we weren't able to have a traditional 'gender reveal' party, it was important to me that we still celebrate, even if it was in a nontraditional way. So, thank you to our community of family and friends who joined us in this 'name reveal party' where we yes, revealed our son's name, but even more so rejoiced together at the great faithfulness of the Lord!

Sooo.... onto the show! This post is going to be short and sweet and filled with pictures instead of words! Enjoy!



Scroll through to see what sweet baby boy's name is...

Thank again everyone!! Thanks for contiuing to read these posts, encouraging us along this journey and praying us through this process! 

Matched!!

Ok friends, here's the news!! On May 28th we got a call from our agency to say.... that they had a match for us, a sweet 13 month old BOY!!  EKKK!!! 
(I may have considered making this entire post a series of repeaing exclamation marks, but decided against it.. you're welcome.) 

!! MATCHED !! 

There are SO many emotions wrapped up in this one little word, it's almost impossible to describe. We knew that we would eventually be matched but yet I dont think I really believed it! Everything in this adoption process has felt so much like a "theory" and not a "reality", that having this first tangible thing was mind boggling! 

Our agency worker, now friend, and I three-way called Blaine. Then she began to tell us all the ins and outs about this child we have prayed so long for.  A name. A birthday. A medical history. A birthmom. All of these were parts of a 'phantom story' I had rehearsed in my mind but now were actually coming to life. 

As we have been praying about getting a match for the past few months, we prayed specifically  that the Lord would deliver a peace to confirm that this was our child. As we sat there and listened to all the info in our child's file, that peace began to sink into my heart. Since, I was at school when we got the call, Blaine and I promised each other that we wouldn't open the email from our agency until we could do it together that evening to look at our sweet baby's face for the first time!

Once I got home, we rushed to look at and review his file again and then opened the separate email with his picture. At that moment, everything changed. This was an acutal child without a family, not just the story of one. This was a child who has been living a very real life a part from us, that we knew nothing about for the past year. It seemed foregin to look at picture of a child I've never met and to think "This is my baby!" Afterall, this is NOT normal! When you give birth to a baby you know them quite well.  The first time you see them is not the first time you've met them. You've been well acquainted with them after carrying them for the past 9 months. That foregin feeling faded, though I'm not sure when, seconds or maybe minutes later, and this sweet child sunk deep into my heart and the Lord continued to whisper a reaffiriming peace into my ear, that this was indeed the child he had chosen for us. I can tell you now that this was almost two weeks ago, it feels as if this baby has been a part of us all long. I've watched the video of him walking no less than 100 times by now and the feeling that he simply belongs with us has made deep roots within my heart.

At this moment, we realized we had NO idea what we were doing, HA! So much preparation for this point lead us solidly to... no clue what to do! We quickly realized we had never done this before and hadn't made a plan of what to do! So we tried to get our parents together to tell them the news and share pictures. Then we began trying to consult doctors to review his file, share the news with loved ones and then finally told the agency officially, that YES we would accept this match! WHEW!! What a worldwind! 

There are SO many emotions wrapped up in this match. As I've tried to begin processes it, the visual of a marble keeps running through my brain. 

Each emotion is separate yet connected somehow. Like the colors in a marble, each one distinct and individual yet they each color doesn't have a clear beginning or ending point. 

 Sorrow. The first emotion has been two fold. First I've been filled with sorrow for our sweet boy. Even as our case worker began telling us about our sweet boy's background, I was just weeping on the phone! We knew that being given up for adoption would be part of our child story, but that did not prepare me for the heartbreaking reality of it. No child should have to start their life that way. My heart broke for him as I heard about the reasons why his birthmom couldn't parent him, how little he was without a family. Yet, at the same time I was extremely thankful to her for choosing life and taking such amazing care of him while she had him. Even today, as I told some friends about him being placed for adoption, I was holding back tears. This entire adoption process is born out of brokenness and you just can't get around that. 

The second sorrow has been for the journey ahead. We are hopeful that we will get to travel in the spring to get baby boy! However, that amount of time (9-10 months) seems extruciatingly long. We shopped for a care package to send to him and his foster family yesterday, which I was SO stinkin' excited to do! Yet, I kept thinking, the next time we buy clothes for him he'll be bigger. We're missing out on this stage of his life and we can't get it back. We will forever be grateful for the foster family who is loving him so well right now, but the pain still lingers as we look forward into the next months without him in our arms. 

Joy. We. Have. A. Son. This sentence seems so foreign to my ears but it's true! The Lord has provided in a marvelous way and we are daily reminded of his faithfulnes and goodness because of this immense blessing! So many tears and unanswered questions over the past 3 years have lead us to this child and the Lord has walked with us through ALL OF IT!  We went through an intro to adoption class back in the Fall. I remember our table leader talking about how once they were matched, she went back and read through some of her journals and realized that the day she had decided to adopt, was the same day her baby girl was born! How awesome!! I desperately wanted something like that to be a part of my story but quickly realized with the timing, it most likely wouldn't be. After recieving baby boy's files we found out that he was born last April, when adoption wasn't even on our minds at all. The Lord has shown me though, that this is almost a SWEETER gift! While we were still making our own plans (in a completely different direction), he still had THE plan in place and knew what was best for us all along.

 It reminds me of this verse: 

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."   

             -Romans 5:8

While we were still deep in sin, the Lord was busy making a rescue plan! This is so true of us as believers and us in our adoption story! While I was grieving my infertility, the Lord was making a plan to heal our hearts, make a family and give us a chance to live the gospel. 

So what's next!? More waiting (ha, I know you're shocked)! We expect to get to travel the first time to meet him in about 9-10 month, so basically next spring. Until then, we have LOTS more paperwork to do, fees to pay and a nursery to get ready!! We will be able to keep up with him on a monthly basis until then. 

Also, we have chosen a name! But we can't tell you yet :) We are having a name reveal party at the end of the month to share his American name with everyone! I will post pictures from that and his name in my next blog post so stay tuned!  In the meantime, please pray for this sweet baby and his foster family! Please pray for process to go quickly and that the Lord would allow us to bring him home even sooner than anticipated. Thank you for sticking with us through this LONG and arduous process. We are EXTREMELY grateful for your support and encouragement. We can't wait for everyone to meet baby boy! 

Un-Anniversary

Un-Anniversary.

We all have one. It's the opposite of an anniversary. It could be a day, month or even season that marks something or someone that isn't there.

This month marks 3 years of infertility. Even as I typed those words, I think "Surely, that's not true." When we started this road, I couldn't fathom one more DAY of infertility, I thought it would break me, body and soul.

Yet, here we are. THREE YEARS later. Not broken. Grieved, yes. Pained, yes. Tear stained, yes. But, not broken.

Since April 2016 we have been in a season of waiting. A holding pattern of sorts. It's ironic that in our adoption process right now, we have officially been deemed a "waiting family". This means we are waiting for a referral (match) from the Korean adoption agency. It's a weird feeling to have such an official label for something that has already been our reality for 1,095 days but we appreciate the label, ha! We've been waiting for a long time to see the Lord's plan unfold for our family and how he would grow it. It's strange to now have a timeline set before us by the agency and to know that His plans will be revealed in 3 months or less. We. Simply. Can't. Wait.   (Insert all the heart eyes here!)

I would have given anything at the beginning of the journey to know the timeline! Being a 1 (any ennegram friends?!?) means that I crave a timeline, a plan, and a well thought out decision! Knowing exactly how this all would play out, would have definitely been helpful for my heart right?  Looking back though, I can see that while the Lord had a plan for the 'end', He also very much had a plan for the waiting too.

I know you can relate to this, we all have periods of waiting in our lives. Our lives turn out slightly different than we expected and as we try to swallow that reality, we often find ourselves in a time of waiting. What I'm learning is that the "wait"  is just as important as the "thing". Thankfully, the Lord purposes our waiting periods.

"Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD." Psalm 27:14 

IF we let Him, the Lord will use the wait to teach us more about Him and ourselves. During the wait, I've learned that He is good and that it's my choice whether or not to believe this. Before infertility, my view of the Lord was based on my current circumstances. My life is great = God is good. My life is NOT great = God isn't good. I learned during the wait that my faith was fearfully feeble and weak. Throughout this process, I have learned that the Lord is good reguardless of what I can "see" each day. Choosing to believe this truth has been one of the biggest lesson's the Lord has taught me. 

I've also learned that the Lord has not forgotten me, despite what He's doing in the lives of those around me. We all know that comparison is the thief of all joy but did you know that it's also the quickest way to kill any intimacy you have with the Lord? I've learned that, the Lord blessing other's with the VERY thing He's withheld from me, doesn't mean He doesn't have a plan for me too! If I'm not careful this can create a crack in my thinking just big enough for the enemy to slither in and whisper lies to my heart. His working in my life isn't diminished by what He's doing in other peoples lives. He is faithful and will not forget us. We have both been overwhelmed by His faithfulness through our adoption process. He's truly gone before us in SO many areas of this thing!

I've learned that everyone is suffering. It's easy to be engulfed in our own pain but if we can look around us for a moment, we notice that we aren't alone. People around us are suffering from health issues, disbelief, lost loved ones, being laid off work....the list goes on. Pain and grief are not unique to a certain generation, ethnicity or economic status. Our own sufferings can create deep empathy for others and help us to love them better.

Lastly, the wait has taught me that the "thing" wont S A T I S F Y you. A baby, a spouse, new house, new job...whatever you're waiting on wont be the "thing" that finally satisfys you. Only Jesus can fully and completely satisfy you. This is GOOD news because it means we can be satisfied DURING the wait. This also helps us keep an acurrate perspective. Believing that something else can satisfy you besides Christ, sets you up for grave disappointment later on. I'm praying you to believe this and that the Lord shows you it's truth! 

Trust me when, I say that this is only a snap shot of the things the Lord has taught me during this waiting season. Please know, that if you are in a waiting season as well, the Lord can use it to teach you more about Him. So invite Him INTO the wait with you, you'll enjoy His company I promise. 

So, as we officially become labeled a "waiting family" we find ourselves giddy with excitement but still.....waiting! Waiting for the Lord to provide the funds we still need for our referral fee. Waiting to see the sweet face of the baby the Lord has chosen for us to parent. Waiting to see exactly how long until we can go pick them up. Waiting to pick out a name and design a nursery. We are EXTREMELY ready to hold our sweet baby and for the wait to be OVER but we are comforted to know that up until the very last day, the Lord will be purposing our wait time. We know it's not in vain and that we are not merely passing the time! 

A Paul Tripp quote that a friend shared with me early on has been dear to my heart;

"Be paitent, willing to wait, and continue when continuing is hard." 

Praying for you friend, that the Lord would purpose whatever "wait" you're in.  

#heartandseoul

Home Study Ready

Hi Friends!

A LOT has been going on and I wanted to catch everyone one up!

First of all, thank you so much for praying for us through the legislative scare I wrote about in our last update. We found out through our agency that the law has not yet passed and if it does, it will likely take up to two years to be implemented. With all of that said, we are prayerfully moving forward until the Lord says to stop! This did light a fire under us to get our paperwork done and we finished our home study paperwork at the end of January- YAY!!  Also, can I just stay that the home study was like doing your taxes to the 10th degree!! So. Much. Paperwork. BUT God is faithful and we got it done! 

We also had a super awesome silent auction through Facebook on Valentine's Day weekend! There were SO many amazing items in the auction. I couldn't believe how generous people were with donating such great stuff. It was so fun to watch the auction and see people out bid each other. We were able to add another $3,000 to our adoption fund!!

We also just started our puzzle piece fundraiser and it's done SO well! Basically you can buy a piece of this Noah's Ark puzzle for an amount on the chart above. When you do, we will write your name on the back of the piece. Once all the pieces are sold, we will be able to put the puzzle together and will hang it in the baby's room in a double sided frame, so we can always remember who has a "piece" in bringing home baby Scott. If you want to buy a puzzle piece, you can do so here: https://www.signupgenius.com/go/30e0d45ada92fa7f58-puzzle

In just a couple days, we almost sold half of our puzzle pieces! We've already raised about $2,000 from that fundraiser, which mean's we've raised about $20,000! 😮 Tha't AMAZING PEOPLE!!

So with $20,000 down we still have $30,000 to go to get to $50,000. Our biggest payment is getting closer and we are really reviving up our fundraising efforts. Thank you for grace, as I know it might get old to see our continuous fundraisers on Facebook!! We are hoping we are not "totally" annoying! 😉

So the next step in the process is our home study and we are SO ready! Our social worker is scheduled to make two visits this week to our home to interview us and check out the house. We have been cleaning and getting the house all baby-proofed. After she visits she'll write a report that will be sent to the agency and reviewed and reviewed and then finally finalized and sent to Korea! The home study process is estimated to take 2-3 months. 

Once our home study is finished, we will wait for a 💖REFERRAL💖! This is when they review your file and match you with a child. This part of the process can take about 1-3 months. Needless to say we are SO stinkin' excited to be this close to referral.  Once a child is referred to us, we will send their medical file to a doctor at Children's Hospital and let them review it and get more info on the child's needs. We will have about 1-2 weeks to either accept the referral or deny it. Once we accept a referral- THAT IS OUR BABY!! Oh, and we will immediately owe $20,000 (yeah, kinda a downer). This causes such mixed emotions! Of course, we can't even contain ourselves at the thought of finally seeing our baby's picture and learning all about them, but we are also nervous about that huge payment.

But the Lord has been SO faithful on our journey and we know He will continue to be. We are praying for greater trust in Him through this process instead of giving in to worry or stress. Please continue to pray with us that the Lord would provide the funds we need and that we would learn to trust Him more.  

One of my FAVORITE things that happened lately was this....

These are my two sweet friends who I met through mutual friends. We are all adopting from South Korea, through the same agency and are at the exact same place in the process. How awesome is that? I am so humbled by the Lord's love for us by putting us in contact with each other. We live all over the metroplex but have already gotten together several times. It's been SUCH a blessing to have friends to brainstorm fundraisers with, ask paperwork questions to and dream about the future with! We are looking forward to some pretty awesome play dates once we get our littles home! It's confirmations like these friendships, that keep us going on the hard days and remind us that God is with us on this journey. 

Thanks for continuing to support us, follow and keep up with our adoption journey! We are extremely thankful for the large community of support that surrounds us. Love you guys! 

XOXO

#heartandseoul

Our Response to New York

"But God also rescued Lot out of Sodom because he was a righteous man who was sick of the shameful immorality of the wicked people around him. Yes, Lot was a righteous man who was tormented in his soul by the wickedness he saw and heard day after day." 2 Peter 2:7-8

I think many Christ followers around the world this week have felt the same way Lot is described as feeling here. I know I have. I have felt a quite literal weight in my soul this week as the wickedness of our culture is continually more and more extreme. I inwardly pleaded with the Lord to come quickly this week, more fervently than I have before. I have read friends Facebook posts, memes, and satire about the tragedy of the new legislation passed this week, allowing late term abortions. I felt burdened to post something of my own. But what? What could summarize the weight, the lose, the saddness of this issue?

I delayed and delayed my Facebook reponse to this evil because it just didnt feel like ENOUGH. I realized this week, a blatantly obvious fact, that abortion and adoption are two solutions the same problem. Our child's mother could have easily chosen abortion instead of adoption and I have prayed quite often for her to be blessed for choosing life for our child. 

Today our Pastor boldly spoke to our community of believers about what love truly is.

Love SEEKS

Love SERVES

Love SHARES

Love SACRIFICES

Love SAVES

Love SHARES

and . . .

LOVE SPEAKS

Friends, we are entering an unprecented time in history. More babies are being killed than people in the Holocaust and we can't simply content ourselves with a Facebook post that states our disagreement. 

Did you know that around 6 millon people were killed during the Holocaust? 50-60 million babies have been aborted since Roe v. Wade! Have you ever thought about what you would do as a Christian living in WW II? Would you storm a Nazi emcampment? Make plans to stop an Auschwitz bound train and free all it's prisoners? Would you weasle your way into the Fuhrer's inner circle to try and destroy it all? We are in a crisis much like this today however because it is glorified by the media and hidden in a doctor's office, we find it easy to forget about. 

As Christ followers, we have a grevious responsibility at this point in history to continue to proclaim the Lord's name by loving others sacfricially and seeking justice for the weak. 

"Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute. Open your mouth, judge righteously, defend the rights of the poor and needy."

Prov. 31:8-9

We must SPEAK OUT. 

Before we begin though, first let's examine our own lives. Does your life SHOW that you are PRO LIFE or just your timeline? Our lives must show that we believe in the immeasureable value of life at it's earliest form and that children are a blessing by what we DO. Love is in fact a verb and we are not loving others well (specifically pregnant women and unborn children) when we simply push "publish" and move on with our day. 

Does your life SHOW that you value children? Even when there's a crying infant on your plane ride? Even when the toddler next to you at dinner, at your favorite restaurant, is throwing a massive fit? Or are you more likely to be the one rolling your eyes and asking to be moved? I fear that abortion is an exaggerated view of children that we already have; they are annoying,a nuisance, and bothersome. If we are preaching PRO LIFE, it doesn't end in the labor and delivery room. 

"Children are a heritage from the Lord.." 

Psalm 127:3

There are so many ways we can act on our belief that life is valuable and must be protected.

So in an order to help you decide HOW you should act on this belief, I have compiled some resources that can help guide you, as you prayerfully consider what the Lord wants your response to be. I wanted to provide you with some tangible ideas that could be next steps for your family's response to the NY legislation this week. A few places to start are...

Educate Yourself: Have you ever seen a video of an abortion? I really didn't think I could stomach watching one. However, if you haven't seen it, I really feel like you dont get the full impact of what's happening at an extreme rate around us. 

WARNING: I will warn you, this is an animation but nevertheless very disturbing.

You can watch a video here

Reading about the affect abortion has on women can help to get the entire perspective of the problem. You can go to the sites below to read more about women experience after abortions and statistics on abortion. (Click the link below to visit the site.)

What To Expect After an Abortion

Bound 4 Life Statistics

Abort 73 Statistics

Volunteer: There are AMAZING pregnancy centers set up and ready to take in and care for pregnant women. Join them in caring for these ladies. Below are a few local pregnancy centers you can volunteer at.

Prestonwood Pregnancy Center

Thrive Women's Clinic

Pray: This is a map of all the planned pregnancy centers in North Texas. Pray specifically for each of these clinics to employ people whose hearts are soft and tender to the Lord. That the Lord would turn these workers to Him and discontinue this practice. Pray that the women who enter this clinic would not go through with abortion but that God would miraculousy intervene. 

Planned Parenthood Map

Pray also to be connected with abortion minded women, so that you can share the Lord's love with them! Be ready to give of yourself, your time and talents in order to help a hurting pregnant women make an alertnative choice. 

Adopt: Aren't you proud of me for not being biased and putting this first? Ha! I know it may seem extreme but if we're going to insist on women NOT aborting their unwanted children, then we are going to have to stand in the gap for those children once their born. Is your heart tender towards adoption? Ask the Lord to soften your heart in this area and listen for his sweet voice. You may be suprised at where He's calling you. You can get some great info on adoption from our agencies website;

 Dillon International

Foster Care: Again, this is part of us stadning the gap for kids without a home. There is a HUGE need for foster care families, especially in the Dallas county area. Is this something you are open to? Why not? Pray about this and gather some information here:

CK Family Services

Upbring

*If you think you're too old to foster or adopt, you could become a respite care giver. Read more about this at the links above.

Support Recovery: Often time women who have aborted children deal with an aray of physical and mental issues. They are often hurting and overlooked. Watermark has a great ministry to help these women through the grieving and healing process called "Someone Cares". This is a great resource you can extend to a women going through this crisis.

 Someone Cares

You can also email healing@watermark.org

Friends this is NOT an exhaustive list! These are just a few ways your actions can speak for your belief in the sanctity of life. These are just a few ways we can

 SPEAK LOVE.

Our job as Christ followers, is to seek justice for the least of these but to also love the mother well. 

"By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

John 13:35

At the beginning of the post, I talked about how writing my own facebook post wasn't "enough". Please dont think that THIS post is "enough" either. Only Jesus is ENOUGH and we are responsible to speak that truth to the hurting world around us. 

If you've read this post this far (bless you, I know it's long) I've already prayed for you! I've prayed for the Lord to begin to stir your heart towards one of the action steps above. Please pray with me that the Lord would make us doers of his word and lovers of his people. 

Prayer

HA! 

Ever have one of these moments?!  I dont think Michael Scott is the only one who's ever felt this way. 

(I bet you didn't think a post titled "prayer" would start with a reference to The Office.) 😄

I was in this same freakout mode on Sunday as I was reading an email from our adoption agency.  We got some pretty scary news that could be a pretty big threat to our adoption process in Korea. We would covet your prayers on this issue and for our hearts as we walk through this uncertain time. 

The issue is about a law in Korea and is basically political mumbo jumbo but for the sake of understanding, I'm going to try to explain it as best as I can. So.... here we go. 

To adopt in Korea right now it takes an agency IN Korea + an agency IN the states to work together to get things done. There are currently 3 large private agencies in Korea who ALL international adoptions run through. Of course both the US and Korean governments are involved to some extent but the process is mainly run through private agencies.

There is a group of politicians in Korea right now who want to close all of the private agencies and instead have all of the international adoptions run through the Korean government itself.  This would be the first step in this political groups bigger plan of closing all international adoption in the Korea for good. 

This group feels deep shamed that so many Korean children are being adopted internationally instead of being brought up in their homeland. While this is an understandable sentiment, completely shutting down  international adoption will only create MORE orphans for the country and less opportunity for these children.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

James 1:27

Since Korea has been open to international adoption, the US alone has adopted over 100,000 Korean children. There will still be a large need for adoptive families if these agencies close. Korean are traditionally very unlikely to adopt domestically because their is a high value in the family blood line, adopted children don't fit well into this idea. Single mothers face detrimental social stigma which also contribute to the number of children put up for adopt each year. Neither of these factors are likely to change by simply closing international adoption and thus the problem will still remain. 

Phew! OK- hopefully you were able to stick with me through that. 

For Blaine and I specifically, if this law passes, there are lots of different possible effects but the process would most definitely become MUCH slower and the program would be MUCH less stable. Ha! What a shock to us when we picked this program specifically because it was exactly the opposite- fast and stable! 

After we read the email about this proposed legislation on Sunday, we walked outside and noticed a rainbow over our backyard. The Lord was so sweet to remind us almost instantly of His promises and love for us in the face of such hard news. 

"Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

Phil 1:6

Would you pray with us that:

1. IF this law is NOT in the best interest of Korean orphans and won't provide them with forever families, that it will not pass and be voted down.

2. IF the law DOES pass, please pray that the Lord would redeem it and somehow make it an avenue to bless more children with stable homes wherever that might be. 

3. That we would trust the Lord, who began this work of adoption in our lives, to see it through.

4. That our hearts would not be anxious about this possible legislation but  would instead rest in the sovereignty of the Jesus, who was not at all surprised by this.

Thank you so much for praying with us through these uncertain times. We are praying that the Lord would help us to be faithful in the midst of such uncertainty.  Having such a wide net of support helps us to be able to walk through this season with confidence!