Psalm 103

Friends, it's been a while, yeah?! Let me update you guys on where we're at! 

Last time I told you guys that we were EP submitted against all odds! Since then we've been waiting for EP approval. This means we're waiting on the Korean government to approve us, say "yes" Beau can leave Korea.  We were due for approval about two weeks ago. MANY people in process with us were approved at end of Sept...but not us. We aren't really sure why we weren't approved with everyone else. Our agency is saying that this could be because this was such a large batch of submissions, it's taking them a while to work through. As you can imagine, that explanation did little to ease our anxious hearts. 

The past two weeks I have been checking my phone NONSTOP waiting to see if we got a call from our agency, or seeing if I missed a call. My thoughts are often wondering towards questions like; "Why aren't we approved when so many others are?", "Did someone loose our file?" , "How many more months will we have to wait to be approved?" 

Beau turned 18 months this past week and we actually got pictures the day after! I have to tell you he's absolutely adorable!! 😍😍 I love getting pictures of our little guy but it also makes my heart ache deeply to see him get older each month and not be there with him. This month we also got a developmental update on how he's doing and learned he has a foster brother the same age as him! How fun!! As I read his update this month, there was one thought I couldn't shake because 18 months was the age in which we expected to bring a child home when we first started this process 

ONE. YEAR. AGO.

Did you read that?! We started the adoption process ONE YEAR AGO this month.  WOW!! It's hard to believe we've been on this journey for a full year and yet it seems SO much longer than that. We've encountered so many trials, potential delays, and unmet expectations, that at times I've wanted to give up. BUT the Lord has been SO faithful throughout this journey to keep us on course despite  ALL the governments, paperwork and processes that we felt so threatened by. If there's one thing I've learned from this past year it's that...

-news fash- 

I'M NOT IN CONTROL!! 

 It's true, I'm not is control!! For a 1 (ennegram) that's a hard pill to swallow. You would think that a year into this adoption journey, I would have mastered this lesson already. But no, as we wait for EP approval, I still have to remind myself that..I'm not in control BUT God is! 

I recently read Ellisabeth Elliot's "Suffereing is Never for Nothing" and oh my goodness, go get that book right NOW! It's amazing y'all. She talks about how...

-  Suffering is a gift because it let's us get to know God in a way we otherwise couldn't. 

- We can offer our suffering to the Lord as a gift.

- The best way to get through suffering of any kind is with a heart of gratitude and rememberance.

I've been pondering these three points and wondering how they apply to my heart as I'm agonizing over EP approval. So I've decided that I'm going to wrap up my anxious heart with a bright pink bow and give it to the Lord as an offering. I'm going to give it back to him because he can make something of it. Ellisabeth Elliot also talks about how if we don't trust that the Lord is in control and is always on time, then we give our selves over to believing that we are just at the mercy of the chaos of chance. I'm also choosing to praise him in this wait by recounting all the amazing blessing that he's given us throughout this journey. Can I share a few of these with you?

Gosh, where to even start...

- He showed us we should move agencies very early on in the process which saved us much heart ache (that agency is currently in a lawsuit).

- He gave me 2 other friends currently adopting from Korea.

-Through our require phsycials, I found out I had latent TB and was able to be treated for it!

- He provided countless people to give towards our adoption fund and help make our fundraisers successful. 

- He lead a sweet family (who we didn't know) to offer to pay the remaining 10-15K of our adoption fees for us. Who does that?! God does that!!

- He matched us with a social worker, for our home study, who we already KNEW!

- He led us to a pshyologist, for our required evals, who was half the cost of the others we'd found. 

- He allowed us to meet deadlines within the process that were simply unthinkable (even when we sat on paperwork for 2 months)!

- He gave us the ability to send boxes for Beau to Korea through a friend who travels there often, saving us over $100 each time!

Psalm 103:1-3 says...

"Let all that I am praise the Lord;

    with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name.

2 

Let all that I am praise the Lord;

    may I never forget the good things he does for me.

3 

He forgives all my sins

    and heals all my diseases."

   It's very counterintuitive to praise the Lord with your whole heart when you're suffering BUT I truly believe that it's within this posture of worship, where peace and contentment in the Lord is found! Please believe that I am still praying each day for "tomorrow" to be the day we're EP approved but I'm also relying on the Lord's sovereignty over the timing of this because I simply don't believe in chance. 

Would you join us in praying that tomorrow would be the day we're EP approved? That we would STILL travel the first time in Nov and bring Beau home in Dec (this is my BOLD prayer). That the Lord would continue to take care of Beau until we can bring him home. Lastly, please pray that we will continue to trust the Lord no matter what happens next! Is there a place of suffering in your life you could offer to the Lord as a gift? Also, go get that Ellisabeth Elliot book...seriously right now!!

Happy Sunday!!